On The Edge and Coming To Terms

Day 5

We made it super close to our destination, just 30 minutes away. We decided to stay the night in Poteau. After an early breakfast, and a quick check on the cats, (everyone was eating and acting normal now), we headed to my sister’s house, where she will take care of our cats while we are in transition from California. Initially my niece was going to take care of the cats, but there was an issue that came up for her, so my sister volunteered. To accommodate us, there is an unused and slightly damaged mobile home on her property that was initially bought for my niece. Now instead, Sis welcomed our cats and we set up the house for the felines. We brought supplies with us, and bought other necessities that would help Sis take care of them until we returned with the next load of cats.

But after all the miles, all the money and time, when it came down to it, was I really ready to leave my fur babies? Should I just say “forget it” to moving, and take the cats and dog back to California? What am I doing? Tearing up everything we have known for 30 years. Is this what I really want to do? It was a long day of indecision. My gut was churning, my head was hurting, and I was second guessing everything we were doing. I need to cry! A long day of deciding what was going to be my final decision….go through with the move, or go back and stay in our CA house? What am I giving up? What am I going to gain? I didn’t expect these feelings of uncertainty. I was confused, but had to make a decision…and make it quick.

For me, this was the toughest part of the trip. The decision of continuing on the path that I had started, and completing the transition. I had to be sure of the reasons I was leaving to start a new life, in a totally new place, was for all the right reasons, as opposed to back-out of moving, returning home with all our animals, and not move at all. I was being torn apart for my decision of moving my family and now, if I left back to California, leaving all our items in the storage, and cats in Oklahoma, I was committed. It was the toughest day of the trip.

I hugged my sister, asked her to take care of our 4 cats, and told her we would be back. And we left, back to California without our cats, to get ready for our next trip, and the next load of cats.